For many of us, the thought of some of the decisions we’ve made in the past when it comes to relationships can make us shudder.
We can list all the things they did wrong, and we can certainly elaborate on how much better life is without them.
Sometimes we know we have a history of choosing the wrong people, and we start to wonder why we attract idiots, decide we are never going to have another relationship, or go in to generalisations — all men/women are the same.
But if we look a little deeper, our track record can tell us so much about ourselves.
If we take the time to explore the positive and negative qualities we encountered during our past relationships, we can gain a much greater understanding of what we need to make a relationship work for us.
It can also shine light on the parts of us that need to strengthen or heal.
In relationships, all conflict is unmet needs. Exploring our history can move us away from choosing a partner because of lust or loneliness, and in to choosing from a balanced head and heart.
Knowing we have chosen someone who can meet our needs gives us a much better chance of being in a relationship that lasts, and makes us happy. And that’s a good thing.