Red Flags

Would I be happy spending the rest of my life with this person exactly as they are and not want to change them?

Am I happy having this person involved in the raising of my child/children?

Am I feeling a need to help or rescue them because I see their potential?

Do I love their status or the way they look and it makes me feel good about what others think of me to be seen with them?

Do we have a few things in common so I'm avoiding looking at glaring differences?

Are you focusing on one important quality (money, sex, fun, humour etc) and ignoring unmet requirements?

Does he/she react to frustration with anger, rage and blame?

Does he/she blame others for life situations?

Does he/she try to control everything, including you?

Is he/she immature, impulsive and/or irresponsible?

Is he/she emotionally distant or aloof?

Is he/she still pining for or hung up on (anger/resentment) a past relationship?

Does he/she want you because it makes their sad/boring life better?

Is he/she married or otherwise unavailable for commitment?

Does he/she have an active addiction or addictive behaviour that they explain as 'not a problem'?

Is he/she pessimistic or negative about the things that matter to you?

Does he/she lack integrity in dealing with people, money etc?

Does he/she have a judgemental attitude towards them selves and/or others?

Is he/she unwilling to self examine, accept feedback or take responsibility for their behaviours and reactions within the relationship?

Does he/she fail to keep agreements?

Does what they say about themselves not match reality and what you observe?

Do they seem to have a life with recurring or regular emotional drama, an emotional roller coaster?

Do you feel that this isn't what you really want, but you don't want to be alone?

Do they display inconsistent, changeable behaviour?

Do you notice they have an inability to listen?

Do you notice yourself trying to change them to become what you want, instead of just accepting them for who they are?

Do they tend to monopolise the conversation, talk too much, especially about themselves?

Do you find they are overly quiet and withdrawn?